PART I: 1st Time Buyers Common Mistakes in Getting Married
It is not even June yet and love is the air. People start thinking so many things that are warm and fuzzy… like marriage. Then they start thing so many things that just aren’t true… like marriage is always forever. Noone with experience tells them to look before you leap… until now!
The average cost of a wedding in the US is now approximately $30,433, according to weddingstats.org. That number DOES NOT include the honeymoon. Add another $4,466 for that. Now, considering that the average marriage lasts about 8.4 years, one must ask: What do I get for the nearly $35,000 that this one day is going to cost?
That depends on whom you get married to, as well as when, and where you get married at.
But before we get to THE DAY, let’s explore what we should recognize are some common mistakes that you, and preferably your partner should discuss and disclose BEFORE you say, “I Do.”
Many people believe that most marriages break up because of infidelity or money. The reality is that it is neither one: Each is just a convenient scapegoat for a deeper issue: Trust.
Trust is the thing that keeps relationships, especially marriages, together… in good times and bad. If you cannot trust the person, then why would you get married to the person? Trust is not a constant: It must be earned. It must be maintained. It must be protected.
Questions to ask to prevent marital issues and to promote trust:
What is your FICO? You need to KNOW the person’s payment history, which is a reflection of how often they honor their commitments over a period of time.
What are your career plans? Do the person have a career or does he/she bounce from job to job. Absence of a career plan will make your life harder.
What is your employment outlook like at your current job? You need to know if there will be any major income hiccups in the near future. It adds a greater sense of financial security to the relationship?
What does your resume/employment history show? Consistency or mistakes?
Do you want children? Do you have children now? If so, where and what is the parental arrangement? Do not ignore, or take lightly, children in the relationship. If children are already part of the picture, examine the lover’s parenting skill and style. Does it match yours?
Show me your financial statement…I will show you mine first. A refusal means that you are about to lose
Will we have joint bank accounts? If not, why not? Usually, the refusal to have a joint bank account is an indication that the person does not trust you and has a desire to maintain their independence in case the relationship gets funky and goes south.
How will my student loans be impacted by my partner’s student loans once we are married? Your partner’s loans, student loans and other loans, will remain their responsibility to pay. However, your partner’s debts can be made part of your obligations under certain key circumstances.
How will we file our tax returns once we are married? Jointly or married filing separately? Tax returns are not a one size fits all report. High income spouses that have self-employment concerns may choose to protect the non-self-employed spouse from possible tax concerns.
How can I help my fiancé improve their credit score? It is not your job to help improve your partner’s credit score. They must want to do it own their own. The fiancé MUST reduce their consumption, i.e. they MUST reduce their expenses AND get stick to a budget so that they are not living above their means. They must also have a repayment plan for past debts. Not charging any more items on the credit card should be a no-brainer. One must increase the available credit amount to above 70% of the total credit line.
How do I protect my financial assets that I had prior to marriage, in case of divorce later? Use a pre-nuptual. Do not get married in any of the seven community property states in the US. Lastly, if you believe that you might get divorced later, do not get married now. There are reasons for you having that belief. Trust you!
How do we decide where to live and what happens if either of us wants to take a great job offer in another part of the country, or in another country?
How do we handle our ex-lovers? They are off limits or ….?
His views on marriage? Were your parents married? Recognize the children of divorced parents have a higher probability of getting divorced.
CAVEATS: The man going to live with the woman in HER house.
The man not interested in buying his fiancé a home.
No talking. The person doesn’t want to talk about their past.
Stop assuming things that actions don’t support.
Choose not to back away from truth.
Ask, “Why do you really want to marry me?”
Men do not like talking too much. Women do not like not talking enough.
Do not expecting the other person to change from how they are now!!!
Call Empire Capital today at 267-581-5993
If you want immediate assistance in getting your financial fitness act together, and we will CONFIDENTIALLY discuss your unique financial condition. Then we can give detailed assistance to get you into MARATHON financial condition and help you (or your mate) become more suitable for the institution that you claim you want to enter.
